Miniature Golf

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One of the first things that comes to mind when I think of dating is miniature golf.  I’m not sure why other than it’s probably some of the first dates I ever went on.  This is a fun date idea because it’s nostalgic and a little competitive.  A great place to go is the Family Fun Center in Tukwila.  Not only can you putt a few holes, but you can race go-karts, play laser tag, air hockey, and arcade games.  This date makes you feel like a kid again as you have fun, earn tickets, and win some “cool” prizes.  Having fun together is a great way to strengthen your marriage.  Work, kids, bills, and other obligations can get overwhelming and stressful at times.  It is okay to take a break and not worry about anything serious for an evening.  It can help relieve stress and help you turn towards each other.

The Museum of Glass

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I went on a really great date recently and I just have to tell about it!  Growing up I had always been fascinated by watching people blow glass and create beautiful art from molten glass on television.  For Valentine’s Day I was able to go see a famous Italian artist work in the hot shop at the glass museum in Tacoma.  I was mesmerized by the process and couldn’t comprehend the end from the beginning.  I think this is true in marriage.  Sometimes we can feel like we don’t know what we got ourselves into.  We may not know how things will look 10 or 20 years from now, but we do know with careful and constant care not only can we survive the heat, but it helps mold our marriage into a masterpiece.

I was also able to spend some time wandering the exhibits and take a class where I was able to make a small work of art- a heart that was decorated and then put in the kiln to bind the pieces together.  It is the experiences we go through together that help us fall in love.

If you end up getting hungry, I suggest a really great restaurant across the street called Indochine.

Find Your Purpose

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When we know what we want in life our decisions lead us towards that point.  Instead of being reactive to life we should be engaged and not let life just happen to us.

John Gottman talks about this principle as creating shared meaning.  In marriage, when meaning is shared, conflict and problems tend to be less intense.  You are connected on a deeper level through the experiences you go through together.  Work and sacrifice will be required, but that helps accomplishment and joy feel that much stronger.

Tonight is an at home date where you take the time to think about the future and makes plans to reach a goal together.  It may be saving for a vacation, getting more education, working on expressing appreciation more often, etc.  Once you have picked a goal, create a plan and get excited for the future.  What is already helping you get to that point?  What needs to change?  Working together towards a common dream is only going to increase you happiness and satisfaction.

Celebrate your new plan by making plans to go out to eat to your favorite restaurant.  If appropriate, share your plan with your friends or family to help keep you accountable and help you stay on course.

Having goals and objectives will keep you grounded when times get tough.

Freshen Up

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Last week I was feeling kind of blah.  I think winter has really been getting to me and I’ve been in need of a change… something to get me out of my rut and feel excited.  A friend of mine who owns a salon happened to be in town and we planned a fun weekend where a bunch of us got our hair cut and colored.  I love the feeling of a fresh haircut and think this could be a great date idea!  Schedule hair appointments together and make a night out of it.  Get dressed up and sport your new do at a fancy restaurant.  If you don’t feel like spending a fortune, John Howie’s and Ruth’s Chris both have affordable happy hour menus.

Taking time to break up monotony and routine is good for your marriage.  Making a change can be the beginning of other good changes to come.  A new hair cut can help you feel more confident, empowered, and sexy.

Build a Fort

This date idea takes us back to our childhood days of creativity and imagination.  Gather up some couch cushions, blankets, pillows, sheets, and build a fort together!  (Tip: We use the kitchen table or a card table as the base for our forts because it gives it a lot of good structure.)  Once you finish the space either take some time to talk with each other or watch a movie together.  This lighthearted activity is sure to help you relax and let loose for the evening.  It’s healthy to be a little bit silly sometimes.  You will strengthen your relationship by practicing team work and having fun together.

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Success Isn’t Given, it’s Earned

When you get married, you enter the playing field.  Once you get on the field it’s not about whether you are liked or not.  What matters is to play the game consistently and doing what it takes to help your team win.  What each player needs to remember is that they are part of a team, it’s not an individual event.  If you find yourself butting heads lately, it might be time to take a trip out to Arena Sports in Redmond for some indoor soccer.

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On this date you’ll learn to be a team.  You’ll have to work together to win the game on the field or in life.  An important skill for success is knowing when to take a “time out”.  Just like playing sports or heading to the spa can be relaxing and rejuvenating, so can taking a time out from a heated conversation or argument.  When couples are stressed out, they do not communicate well.  People end up saying things they later regret when they go into a fight or flight response during an argument.  Once you practice this concept a few times, it will become an effective, healthy, and natural way to communicate.  You are a team no matter what and your love should be the number one fan cheering you on through all the different fields of life.

A marriage can be applied to sports

Just like in sports success is not given, it’s earned

On the field

On the track

In the gym

With blood, sweat, and an occasional tear

http://www.arenasports.net/locations/redmond-facility

(This article is based on one written for the Great Dates Houston Blog.  For more dating ideas and tips, visit: greatdateshouston.blogspot.com)

Snow Day!

This weekend I spent some time in a cabin on Snoqualmie Pass.  It was amazing!  I loved how majestic the mountains looked capped with snow.  Driving along roads packed with snow 20 feet high was exciting and made me feel like a kid; I was in awe of what I was seeing.  Living in Seattle means that snow is a rare sight, but if you drive just 45 minutes away you can be in the mountains playing in fresh powder.

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There are lots of activities to do in the snow.  Pick something that you and your spouse love- whether it be skiing, snowboarding, sledding, building a snowman, or cozying up next to the fireplace with a cup of cocoa.  And don’t forget to take the time to have a snowball fight!  Sometimes anger and frustration can build up and we need a healthy way of letting things go.  If you have stuff you’ve been holding onto and you are ready to forgive, toss a snowball to symbolize releasing the hurt feelings.  As the snowball hits the ground (or your partner if you have good aim) watch it dissipate and feel free from the things that were causing dissonance and contention in your relationship.  Take some time afterwards while you warm up to express love and appreciation for your spouse.

Enneagram

Some of our most basic desires as humans are to feel understood, loved, and valued.  When somebody “gets you” it feels so amazing!  That’s why I love doing personality tests to tap into how others think, feel, and behave.  I’ve found these types of tests lead to deeper understanding and great discovery.  I recommend this particular test because it teaches us about fear, motivation, and even what the person looks like when they are the healthy and unhealthy version of themselves.  Another intriguing section is the compatibility between the different types and what the strengths and weaknesses are in the relationship.

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Take an evening to curl up on the couch together and take the enneagram quiz.  This is a great way to turn towards each other and strengthen your relationship.

How did it go?  Did you learn something about your spouse?  Did you completely disagree with something it said about your personality type?  Tell us about it by commenting below.

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Going on a Treasure Hunt

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This date idea will send you and your spouse looking for hidden treasure.  All you need is your phone and to create a free account on www.geocaching.com.  Once you login, you have access to a map around the world of hidden geocaches (containers).  Find your location and pick a treasure near you!  The map uses GPS technology to lead you to the booty.  This is a great date to practice teamwork as you search in trees, under benches, and dig to find a surprise someone before you has left.  When you find the container you can sign and date the log book and either put the treasure back or keep it and swap it with something else for the next person to find.  In marriage we create common dreams and goals we want to accomplish together.  Knowing where we are headed is helpful as we make decisions to get us to our destination.  However, sometimes it requires work and a little bit of searching and creativity to find a solution to the problem or puzzle that’s in front of you.  Happy hunting!

We would love to hear about the treasures you find by posting a comment below. :)

Practice Makes Perfect in the Batting Cage and in Marriage

This date is brought to you by the sport of baseball.  Whether you played little league growing up or you throw like a girl, with dedication and practice you can improve.  Yes, it takes time and determination, but you can get better!  It is important to realize that no one can do the work for you.  For some reason, oftentimes we feel like we want to change or fix our spouse for them…  Good luck!

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You may hate how much time your husbands spends on Netflix or the habit your wife has of eating ice cream every night before bed.  You may want your spouse to exercise more, do more around the house, or not crack their knuckles.  However, the more you try to change your spouse, the more resistance and push back you will get.  Don’t let this be something that creates a wedge of separation between you.

What can you do to encourage your spouse to want to be better and work towards self-improvement?  Love them as they are.  Show them you have faith and confidence in their ability to succeed.  You can also take a look at yourself and find ways to improve yourself.  It is inspiring and encouraging for others to do the same.  For example, I got a Fitbit for Christmas.  I would frequently check how many steps I had at different points in the day and people noticed.  It encouraged a friend who wants to improve his health to also buy a fitness tracker and become more aware of his activity level and food choices.  We need to take responsibility for changing our own behavior and lead by example.

We can practice the baseball skills we have at the batting cage at the Family Fun Center in Tukwila.  While you practice, only comment on what your spouse does well.  You will notice they will build upon the skills and strengths they already have.  They may even ask for your opinion on how the can improve, in which case you should offer some helpful feedback.

(This article is based on one written for the Great Dates Houston Blog.  For more dating ideas and tips, visit: greatdateshouston.blogspot.com)

Burgers, Milkshakes, and Fries (Oh My!)

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Even without knowing what this date is, aren’t you excited?  How could you go wrong when it involves such delicious foods?  This date works best when you get several couples together.  Have everyone meet up and discuss some of their favorite places for burgers, milkshakes, and fries.  After you make a list assign couples to go to a few of the places to pick up the items.  (It works best when you send couples to restaurants that are geographically near each other.  Then everyone comes back together and you each have a taste, bite, or sip of each item.  You then rank them and figure out together what tastes best and who the winners are.  When I did this we picked places such as: McDonalds, Burger king, Wendy’s, Kid Valley, Dick’s, Burger Master and Broiler Bay.  It was so much fun comparing all the different tastes and learning what people preferred and why.  For us the winner was Broiler Bay.  It can be fun to collaborate ideas on where to eat in the area and try things without committing to the entire meal.  You could also do this with pizza or other genres of food.  Good friends and good food make for a good time.

This is a great date for your relationship because you work together as a team with your spouse and also connect with other couples in a non-competitive way.  It is good to be able to make decisions because sometimes in life we have lots of good options in front of us but we have to pick what is the best.  Practicing decision making (in this case on food) is a good skill to have when you are your spouse need to pick things such as homes, what to have for dinner, where to go on vacation, etc.  It’s also a good practice in listening and expressing your opinions.

Juel Community Park

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This 38 acre park in Redmond is more than just your average park, it’s a Frisbee disc park.  I’m guessing most of us haven’t played before, but it’s fun and a great activity to do together as a couple!  Basically you have a Frisbee (a disk that’s specifically meant for the sport and is smaller than a normal Frisbee) and you go around to the different holes and have to throw the Frisbee into the basket in as few throws as you can.  This game can be intense or more leisurely if you prefer.  It’s a great sport to play on a double date and creates an environment where it’s easy to talk to your spouse.  If you want to mix it up a bit, try challenging your partner to throw the Frisbee with their opposite hand, under their leg, or with their eyes closed.

To make this a marriage strengthening date, play for a combined score so you have to use teamwork!  Help each other and see how well you communicate together.  The key is to avoid conflict and work together to get the Frisbee to the goals.  You win by reaching the end of the course together.  You can always come back and try to beat your score.  And don’t forget to bring a picnic lunch.

To check the field conditions, check out this website:

 

http://www.dgcoursereview.com/course.php?id=738

Chalk it Up

Marriage is a noteworthy accomplishment and it’s fun to take some time to reminisce about the things that helped you get there.  This date idea is creative, budget friendly, and brings back some childhood memories.

All you need for this date is some sidewalk chalk and a nice sidewalk to draw on.  Make sure it’s the kind of sidewalk that is divided into segments.  Once you find your piece of sidewalk, the goal is to create a comic book strip of one of your favorite memories as a couple.  Each segment of the sidewalk will be a new window in your comic book strip.

This activity is great for reminiscing.  Once you have completed the comic, sit down and talk about what made those memories special and important to you.  Remember that what you put into this is what you will get out of it, so really try to make it fun and rewarding!

Have any recommendations for a good sidewalk?  Show us your art in the comments.  We’d love to see what you came up with!

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Paper Boats

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I love this simple date idea that I found on the Phoenix blog.  All you need for this date is some paper.  Follow the instructions above to fold a cute little boat that actually floats!  Once you get your boats made, go out and find a small pond or pool to float the boats.  A great spot on the Eastside is the reflection pool at the Downtown Bellevue Park.  Although, you’ll have to be careful, because sometimes people have their remote control boats out on the water as well.   This is a fun little date that can be followed up by grabbing some frozen yogurt at Peaks just outside the park.  While you’re eating your fro-yo talk about future dreams you would like to build together.  What are your hopes and aspirations?  What do you see in your future together?  Make some plans on how to get there.

Stretch Your Love!

On this date, you are going to take a yoga class with your spouse.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a beginner, intermediate, or love the heat of Bikram…  The goal is to try to connect through yoga and think about the ways it can help us connect on a deeper level.

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Yoga is a great way to center yourself with the earth.  It can also help us find more centeredness in our relationships.  You don’t have to be a yoga master to benefit from its ability to relieve tension.  Stretching your body helps you get out of your comfort zone and become more open and expressive.  Being able to express ourselves to our spouse is a great communication pattern that will help us understand and turn towards each other.  You will become more unified and closer to your spouse as you allow yourself to stretch closer to each other physically (during yoga) and emotionally.

Instead of focusing on yourself and your own needs, you can learn how to breakthrough self-centeredness and choose to give selfless love.  For the next week, turn to your spouse and focus on their needs and wants.  Being selfish is most detrimental in a marriage and it is important to learn to put others needs above our own.  Take the next week to focus on your spouse’s needs and set aside your own wants.  Let your actions show that you care about them.  If they have a to-do list, help them work on some of the items before working on your own things.

Date nights can help foster a sense of togetherness.  It allows us to show each other and those around us that we take our relationship seriously.  It is great to have opportunities to spend time together, to communicate, and enjoy fun activities together.

(This article is based on one written for the Great Dates Houston Blog.  For more dating ideas and tips, visit: greatdateshouston.blogspot.com)

Dollar Store Date

A couple of months ago I found myself in the local Dollar Tree on a Friday night.  As I was perusing the aisles, I was thinking about how fun it would be to go on a date to the dollar store.  So, grab your spouse and follow these instructions for a fun night out!

Each person gets $5.  The goal is to find items you think your spouse will like.  You can also play different variations of the game and make categories such as longest, tastiest, cutest, strangest item, etc.  Set a time limit (such as 20 minutes) and begin shopping.  Don’t let your spouse see what you pick out and buy.  Meet back up at the car when the time runs out.  Grab some dinner off a dollar menu on the way home and show each other what you picked out.  You’re sure to have a great time and have a few laughs.

This date helps couples take the time to let loose and have fun.  Being able to laugh and be silly is good for the soul and promotes happiness in our lives (including marriage).  This can also be a good lesson in budgeting and staying within our means.  Having good financial discipline can really help increase happiness and decrease stress in our relationship with our spouse.

Tell us about the wackiest item you found on your dollar store date in the comments below.

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What Year Were You Born?

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Tonight’s date will focus around the year you were born. Jump on the Internet and Google your year of birth, type in “what happened in the year___.”

Make a list of the top award winning movies, songs and sports accomplishments. Create your date around one of these areas.

-You may watch the movie, Netflix is always a good place to start, and enjoy an evening at home.

-You may listen to the top ten songs and learn a dance that relates to one of them, Youtube can help with this.

-You may pick a sport that had a big year and either go to a game, or head to a park to play catch, tennis, or basketball.

 When you have laid out your date plans, start a meal with your person of choice.

Relationship Reconnection:

Over dinner discuss some of the relevant things whether pop culture, or politics that happened the year you were born. During this discussion each of you should share as much as you know about how you came into the world that year. You are bound to hear the funny or interesting stories that surrounded your spouse’s arrival into this world!

(This blog post was originally published on the Great Dates Phoenix Blog.  Check out www.greatdatesphoenix.blogspot.com for more great date ideas!)

Café Rio

One of my favorite places to eat is Café Rio.  I was first introduced to it when I lived in Utah.  For many years it has been a special treat when I’ve gone back to visit.  This year we had two locations open in WA!  (Lynwood and Kent).  Even just thinking about the lime cilantro dressing and sweet pork makes my mouth water!  While I can’t imagine getting anything but the pork, my best friend always gets the chicken.  And I can’t fathom not getting guacamole, but my sister hates the stuff.  That’s the beauty of being able to custom order food.  If everyone ended up getting the same exact thing, that would defeat the purpose of being able to order the way we like it.

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However, don’t we do this with our marriage relationships sometimes?  We see other people’s spouses and wish our significant other were more like them.  We compare what we don’t have with what other people have and we want.  It is good to take time to focus and appreciate the things we have instead of what we lack.  We need to realize we are all different and customized by how we were raised, our experiences, and the choices we make.  We need to learn to love and appreciate the things that make us unique.  Find reasons to love the relationship that you do have without dwelling on the things that you don’t.  We all bring different things to the table and learn to work together with the tools we have to create something beautiful.

Go out tonight and pick a place where you can customize your meal.  While you eat, take some time to reflect on the things that you noticed about your spouse when you first met and fell in love.  You married them for a reason, now take time to remember why.

Sparkle, Sparkle!

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I used to babysit for a woman who would get her engagement ring cleaned regularly.  I thought it was odd that she had that on her to-do list every month.  However, I have come to understand that taking the time to care for the rings that symbolize marriage and the commitment we make our spouse is important.  I believe we have a deeper appreciation for the things we take care of.

Make it a date and go to the jewelry store together to get your rings polished.  A great place to go is the Ben Bridge at the Bellevue Collection.  They offer complimentary cleaning and you can shop around the mall while you wait.  Take the time to talk to your spouse about a way you can polish your marriage or home.  Can you set a goal of something you’d like to work on together?  Maybe it’s doing some yard work to polish up the front yard, going to the gym together to polish up our physique, or taking more time to practice listening.  Whatever it is that needs a little tender loving care, you’ll be able to appreciate it more as you put the time and effort into keeping it polished.

http://www.benbridge.com/services/complimentary-cleaning-and-inspection

Dancing

Monday night I was able to do some folk dancing with the traveling folk dance team from BYU.  They were in town for a show and offered a free mini performance and class in the community.  They performed a Bollywood Dance and a Hungarian Boot Dance- which were both phenomenal!  (The dancers are all extremely talented.)  For the workshop, we the audience/community members, were each paired up with one of the professional dancers.  We learned some simple moves, such as the do-si-do, slides, heel toe, clapping patterns, and the promenade.  At first I was awkward with the steps, but I felt much more confident as a professional was able to lead me and then I was able to become better and better through each round of the song.  One of the best parts of the evening was being able to dance to live music!  I hadn’t smiled and had such a good time in a while.  It was a fun evening!

So, for a date idea, I would recommend taking a dancing class/lessons together as a couple.  There are some important marriage principles that can be learned from dancing together.  The first lesson is that we all come into a marriage with a different skill set and ability.  Just like the professional dancer was able to help build my confidence, we can help build up each other’s confidence by using the skills and strengths we do have.  Slowly we are able to add more steps or knowledge to what we already know and we are able to become better at keeping our marriage relationship strong.  Another element of folk dancing (or other partner dancing) is that it requires a lot of team work and understanding and paying attention to the clues and signals (lead) of the other.  With practice you are able to become more familiar with your partner’s steps and are able to dance more easily together on the dance floor or in life.

There are many dances classes and workshops available in the area.  I’ve put a link to one website I found with a schedule of festivals and dance studios.  Please share your favorite dancing memory and tell us about a relationship dance step you have mastered as well as how it has helped your relationship.

www.seattledance.org

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Let's Get Crafty!

How many of us are guilty of pinning more projects on Pinterest than we will ever be able to get through and not only that, fail to do any of them?  I know I have a lot of things I want to make, cook, and create, but lack the discipline to set time aside to work on them.  This is why I thought combining an at home date and a project from our Pinterest folders would make for a great evening!  Depending on the involvement and complexity of the project, you may be able to each pick something you want to do or will have to take turns choosing the activity.  Once you’ve decided on the project, you’ll have to be sure to get the right supplies.  Make a list and go out shopping together.  Grab some dinner while you’re out or order a pizza.  After you’ve got all the prep done, it’s time to get crafty!

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I love that this date helps us practice good communication skills and team work.  It involves having a goal (to do the project), figuring out the tools and resources you need (planning and shopping), and working together to follow instructions while being able to put your own creativity and twist on things.  This helps us learn how to set goals and accomplish them together.  What a great skill to have and keep sharp in a marriage! 

I love the following quote about creating from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  He said, “The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.  No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before…  Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment.  We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty… As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.”

We would love to see how you expressed your creativity.  Share your projects below.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/happiness-your-heritage?lang=eng

School Performances and Sports Events

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A great way to support the community and go on a fun date is to attend a concert, sports event, or theatre show at a local school, church, or community center.  Oftentimes these events are free or little cost to attendees.  I did gymnastics in high school, and a few years ago I was invited to go on a date to a meet at a high school my friend coached at.  It was such a fun night!  I really wanted to get on the balance beam and do a tuck jump!  It was fun to support the kids and reminisce about our school days.  Just last weekend I attended at free talent show (that some of my friends were in) and had a great time watching people sing, play guitar, harmonica, and even the digeridoo.  I appreciate people sharing their talent and being vulnerable.

This morning I read about a study on the health benefits of holding hands.  Happily married women were introduced to stressful situations (being shocked) and their response and brain activity was monitored by an MRI machine.  The results showed that when they held hands with their husband the brain activity in the stress response areas of the brain significantly decreased.  The study concluded, “If happy couples do more hand-holding, and hand-holding reduces stress, and less stress leads to better health, then it can only be assumed that happy marriages lead to better health… Just squeeze a little squeeze into your daily routine… it’s good for your relationship and your health.”

Pick an event to attend together and strengthen your marriage by holding hands.  Share your experience in the comments section below.  I’d love to hear what you did.

A Little Snappy

All you need for this date is your spouse, a camera, and the scenery around you.  It's time to practice your photography skills.  whether you take photos of each other, the beautiful scenery, or set up a tripod and take pictures of you as a couple.  This is a fun way to spend time together and create some beautiful memories.

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Since we are on a photo shoot, let's talk about body language.  Out body language says a lot about us.  In fact, nonverbal communication makes up about 80% of communication.  Leaning in when our spouse is talking or using eye contact shows a more genuine interests in what they have to say.  A simple pat on the leg or arm around the waist can speak volumes.  take some time as you're out and about photographing to use body language to express your love and appreciation for your spouse.  Research shows that body language can show how much you value your spouse.

Where are your favorite places to go in the Seattle area to take pictures?  Comment below to share your ideas.

What We Can Learn from Plants

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This is a simple date that teaches and helps us practice the important marriage principle of nurturing and loving unconditionally.  It begins by going to the Bellevue Botanical Garden.  The 53 acre garden is full of beautiful wetlands, a Japanese garden, fuchsias, dahlias, ferns, and native plants- they even have a rock garden.  In the water wise garden, visitors can learn about gardening tips that conserve resources, attract butterflies (and other wildlife), and help create healthier environments.  After walking through the gardens, spread out a blanket on the lawn, enjoy a picnic together, and talk about your favorite parts of the park.  On you way home, stop at a nursery and each pick a plant.  It can be an indoor plant, flowers for the front yard, or even seeds for a vegetable garden.  Your job is to practice unconditional love by nurturing your plant daily.

In Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”, he has a section about nurturing a plant.  I thought his insights tied in perfectly with promoting healthy marriages.  He said, “One of the goals of spiritual life and one of the requirements of inner peace is to learn to love unconditionally.  The problem is, it’s really hard to love a person, any person, unconditionally.  The person we are trying to love inevitably says or does the wrong thing, or fails to meet our expectations in some way.  So, we get upset and put conditions on our love: ‘I’ll love you, but you have to change.  You must act the way I want you to act.’… A plant, however, is easy to love just the way it is.  Therefore, nurturing a plant offers us an excellent opportunity to practice unconditional love.”

He continues by talking about the transformational power of peace that comes from this type of love.  He suggests, “Talk to your plant, tell it how much you love it… Love your plant whether it blooms or not, whether it lives or dies.  Just love it.  Notice how you feel as you offer this plant your unconditional love.  When you offer this type of love you’re never agitated, irritated, or hurried.  You’re simply in a loving space.”  As you practice this type of love for a plant, it will become easier to extend this type of love to those around you.

Practice Empathy

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This morning I was thinking about how thankful I am that I have people in my life who are able to look past my behavior and know my heart.  There is often times a gap between where I want to be and my ability to be that person (at least right now).  I know that when people are able to see my potential as opposed to the little things I do wrong throughout the day, it allows me the room to feel confident in myself and gives me the strength to keep trying to improve.  Spouses can be our biggest cheerleaders in helping us feel valued and capable.

When was the last time you decided not to get upset when your spouse made a mistake?  Instead of anger or frustration, meet them with empathy and understanding.  Most of the time they already know they’ve messed up and pointing it out only makes them feel worse.  In some cases, you might be able to offer assistance and help fix things.  Marriage is about teamwork and that means working together even when one of the members of the team fumbles the ball.

Double Date- Bowling

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When was the last time you and your spouse went out with some friends on a double date?  It’s good to get out of the house and go on a date with your spouse, but it’s also important to go out together with other couples.  There are some great benefits to group dating:

• Breaks up routine
• See your spouse from a different perspective
• People tend to dress up more when going out with another couple
• If you’re going through a rough time, hanging out with friends who are happy can be positive
• Spending time with other couples can be inspiring

Bowling is a great group activity!  I love going bowling because it’s fun, easy to have a conversation during, and competitive.  The date can also be as short or long as you want, depending on how many games you decide to play.  If regular bowling isn’t exciting enough, there are many variations to mix things up such as Skittles Bowling.  Skittles Bowling is when you pour a Skittle out of the bag at the beginning of your turn and depending on what color you get determines the way you bowl.  Here is an example:

Green- Bowl with your opposite hand

Red- Throw between your legs

Yellow- Granny-style bowling

Purple- Use the ramp

Orange- Bowl normal

So, call up your friends and head to the bowling alley for a great night out.

http://bowling.byu.edu/date_ideas.html

http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12712/10-Ways-Double-Dating-Helps-Your-Relationship/

Rattlesnake Ridge

Hiking Rattlesnake Ridge w/ my Brother (1/18/16)

The Pacific Northwest is a pretty magical place for outdoor adventures.  Hiking is a great activity, but many times that requires a big time commitment.  That is why I’ve decided to feature one of my favorite close to the city hikes in today’s post.

Rattlesnake Ridge is a quick drive up I-90 to North Bend.  The trail is well-maintained and is a relatively easy 4 mile round trip hike.  Walk through the forest with beautiful views along the way to keep you motivated and reward your progress.

At the top is a very exposed ledge (so be careful if you bring kids or pets).  It’s a great spot to soak up the sun on a nice day and to enjoy the scenic views of the Cedar River watershed, Mt. Si, Rattlesnake Lake, and Chester Morse Lake.

Hiking is a great activity to do as a couple because it promotes good conversation.  I’ve found it easy to have deep conversations while walking side by side with someone in nature.  Need help coming up with questions?  There are a lot of ideas on the internet.  I’ve posted a few ideas below (as well as a link to the article I found them from).

• What movie deserves a sequel?
• If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your alias?
• What is your most impressive car repair skill?
• What would you refuse to do for one million dollars?
• If you could close one fast food chain, what would it be?
• What household chore have you never done?
• What would be the best thing about not having a sense of smell?
• What is the scariest scene you remember from a kid’s movie?
• If you could dis-invent one thing, what would it be?
• What is the greatest pain you have ever suffered?
• If you could buy one object to complete your home, what would it be?
• Do you have a place where you would like to go and think?  If so, where?

Directions from Seattle: Drive east on I-90 to exit 32.  Turn right off the ramp onto 436^th Ave SE/Cedar Falls Road SE.  Follow the road for about four miles until you reach the Rattlesnake Lake parking lot.

Another bonus to this hike is that it doesn’t require a Discover or Northwest Forest Pass.

http://mrdarcycheated.blogspot.com/2013/04/50-fun-random-date-nightroad-trip.html

Thunderbirds Hockey Game

I went to my first Thunderbirds game this season and it was AWESOME!  I had a great time and would recommend it to everyone.  Even if you don’t know anything about hockey or think it might not be your thing, I assure you, you’ll have a good time.

I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I knew hockey was a violent game.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see a bunch of guys fight and beat each other up on the ice.  However, to my surprise, it was entertaining and was exciting watching the guys get into tiffs.

Also impressive are the skating skills of the players!  I was shocked at how quickly they were able to fall on the ice and get back up in what seemed like one coordinated/graceful motion.

Two activities at the ShoWare Center that added to the fun were the blimp that dropped beef jerky and the chuck a puck game- where you can purchase rubber pucks and at the appropriate time, chuck them onto the ice to win prizes.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Attending a Thunderbirds game is an affordable sporting event that’s great for a date.  We went during the 2-for-Tuesday night.  This means tickets are priced 2-for-1 and they have specials where $2 can get you a hot dog, popcorn, soft drink, or beer.

The marriage principle I took away from attending the game was thinking about time outs (the penalty box).  When we are having a verbal conflict with our significant other, a large amount of adrenaline and other hormones are released.  Instead of thinking rationally and clearly with the front of our brains, we begin to think with the back and go into a fight-or-flight response.  We say things we don’t mean and end up causing damage to our relationships.  John Gottman discovered that with as little as a 10% heart rate increase (from a person’s resting heart rate) a person begins to switch to fight-or-flight mode and should take some time to calm down before returning to the discussion.

http://www.seattlethunderbirds.com/