School Performances and Sports Events

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A great way to support the community and go on a fun date is to attend a concert, sports event, or theatre show at a local school, church, or community center.  Oftentimes these events are free or little cost to attendees.  I did gymnastics in high school, and a few years ago I was invited to go on a date to a meet at a high school my friend coached at.  It was such a fun night!  I really wanted to get on the balance beam and do a tuck jump!  It was fun to support the kids and reminisce about our school days.  Just last weekend I attended at free talent show (that some of my friends were in) and had a great time watching people sing, play guitar, harmonica, and even the digeridoo.  I appreciate people sharing their talent and being vulnerable.

This morning I read about a study on the health benefits of holding hands.  Happily married women were introduced to stressful situations (being shocked) and their response and brain activity was monitored by an MRI machine.  The results showed that when they held hands with their husband the brain activity in the stress response areas of the brain significantly decreased.  The study concluded, “If happy couples do more hand-holding, and hand-holding reduces stress, and less stress leads to better health, then it can only be assumed that happy marriages lead to better health… Just squeeze a little squeeze into your daily routine… it’s good for your relationship and your health.”

Pick an event to attend together and strengthen your marriage by holding hands.  Share your experience in the comments section below.  I’d love to hear what you did.

A Little Snappy

All you need for this date is your spouse, a camera, and the scenery around you.  It's time to practice your photography skills.  whether you take photos of each other, the beautiful scenery, or set up a tripod and take pictures of you as a couple.  This is a fun way to spend time together and create some beautiful memories.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Since we are on a photo shoot, let's talk about body language.  Out body language says a lot about us.  In fact, nonverbal communication makes up about 80% of communication.  Leaning in when our spouse is talking or using eye contact shows a more genuine interests in what they have to say.  A simple pat on the leg or arm around the waist can speak volumes.  take some time as you're out and about photographing to use body language to express your love and appreciation for your spouse.  Research shows that body language can show how much you value your spouse.

Where are your favorite places to go in the Seattle area to take pictures?  Comment below to share your ideas.

What We Can Learn from Plants

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This is a simple date that teaches and helps us practice the important marriage principle of nurturing and loving unconditionally.  It begins by going to the Bellevue Botanical Garden.  The 53 acre garden is full of beautiful wetlands, a Japanese garden, fuchsias, dahlias, ferns, and native plants- they even have a rock garden.  In the water wise garden, visitors can learn about gardening tips that conserve resources, attract butterflies (and other wildlife), and help create healthier environments.  After walking through the gardens, spread out a blanket on the lawn, enjoy a picnic together, and talk about your favorite parts of the park.  On you way home, stop at a nursery and each pick a plant.  It can be an indoor plant, flowers for the front yard, or even seeds for a vegetable garden.  Your job is to practice unconditional love by nurturing your plant daily.

In Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”, he has a section about nurturing a plant.  I thought his insights tied in perfectly with promoting healthy marriages.  He said, “One of the goals of spiritual life and one of the requirements of inner peace is to learn to love unconditionally.  The problem is, it’s really hard to love a person, any person, unconditionally.  The person we are trying to love inevitably says or does the wrong thing, or fails to meet our expectations in some way.  So, we get upset and put conditions on our love: ‘I’ll love you, but you have to change.  You must act the way I want you to act.’… A plant, however, is easy to love just the way it is.  Therefore, nurturing a plant offers us an excellent opportunity to practice unconditional love.”

He continues by talking about the transformational power of peace that comes from this type of love.  He suggests, “Talk to your plant, tell it how much you love it… Love your plant whether it blooms or not, whether it lives or dies.  Just love it.  Notice how you feel as you offer this plant your unconditional love.  When you offer this type of love you’re never agitated, irritated, or hurried.  You’re simply in a loving space.”  As you practice this type of love for a plant, it will become easier to extend this type of love to those around you.

Practice Empathy

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This morning I was thinking about how thankful I am that I have people in my life who are able to look past my behavior and know my heart.  There is often times a gap between where I want to be and my ability to be that person (at least right now).  I know that when people are able to see my potential as opposed to the little things I do wrong throughout the day, it allows me the room to feel confident in myself and gives me the strength to keep trying to improve.  Spouses can be our biggest cheerleaders in helping us feel valued and capable.

When was the last time you decided not to get upset when your spouse made a mistake?  Instead of anger or frustration, meet them with empathy and understanding.  Most of the time they already know they’ve messed up and pointing it out only makes them feel worse.  In some cases, you might be able to offer assistance and help fix things.  Marriage is about teamwork and that means working together even when one of the members of the team fumbles the ball.

Double Date- Bowling

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When was the last time you and your spouse went out with some friends on a double date?  It’s good to get out of the house and go on a date with your spouse, but it’s also important to go out together with other couples.  There are some great benefits to group dating:

• Breaks up routine
• See your spouse from a different perspective
• People tend to dress up more when going out with another couple
• If you’re going through a rough time, hanging out with friends who are happy can be positive
• Spending time with other couples can be inspiring

Bowling is a great group activity!  I love going bowling because it’s fun, easy to have a conversation during, and competitive.  The date can also be as short or long as you want, depending on how many games you decide to play.  If regular bowling isn’t exciting enough, there are many variations to mix things up such as Skittles Bowling.  Skittles Bowling is when you pour a Skittle out of the bag at the beginning of your turn and depending on what color you get determines the way you bowl.  Here is an example:

Green- Bowl with your opposite hand

Red- Throw between your legs

Yellow- Granny-style bowling

Purple- Use the ramp

Orange- Bowl normal

So, call up your friends and head to the bowling alley for a great night out.

http://bowling.byu.edu/date_ideas.html

http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12712/10-Ways-Double-Dating-Helps-Your-Relationship/

Rattlesnake Ridge

Hiking Rattlesnake Ridge w/ my Brother (1/18/16)

The Pacific Northwest is a pretty magical place for outdoor adventures.  Hiking is a great activity, but many times that requires a big time commitment.  That is why I’ve decided to feature one of my favorite close to the city hikes in today’s post.

Rattlesnake Ridge is a quick drive up I-90 to North Bend.  The trail is well-maintained and is a relatively easy 4 mile round trip hike.  Walk through the forest with beautiful views along the way to keep you motivated and reward your progress.

At the top is a very exposed ledge (so be careful if you bring kids or pets).  It’s a great spot to soak up the sun on a nice day and to enjoy the scenic views of the Cedar River watershed, Mt. Si, Rattlesnake Lake, and Chester Morse Lake.

Hiking is a great activity to do as a couple because it promotes good conversation.  I’ve found it easy to have deep conversations while walking side by side with someone in nature.  Need help coming up with questions?  There are a lot of ideas on the internet.  I’ve posted a few ideas below (as well as a link to the article I found them from).

• What movie deserves a sequel?
• If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your alias?
• What is your most impressive car repair skill?
• What would you refuse to do for one million dollars?
• If you could close one fast food chain, what would it be?
• What household chore have you never done?
• What would be the best thing about not having a sense of smell?
• What is the scariest scene you remember from a kid’s movie?
• If you could dis-invent one thing, what would it be?
• What is the greatest pain you have ever suffered?
• If you could buy one object to complete your home, what would it be?
• Do you have a place where you would like to go and think?  If so, where?

Directions from Seattle: Drive east on I-90 to exit 32.  Turn right off the ramp onto 436^th Ave SE/Cedar Falls Road SE.  Follow the road for about four miles until you reach the Rattlesnake Lake parking lot.

Another bonus to this hike is that it doesn’t require a Discover or Northwest Forest Pass.

http://mrdarcycheated.blogspot.com/2013/04/50-fun-random-date-nightroad-trip.html

Thunderbirds Hockey Game

I went to my first Thunderbirds game this season and it was AWESOME!  I had a great time and would recommend it to everyone.  Even if you don’t know anything about hockey or think it might not be your thing, I assure you, you’ll have a good time.

I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I knew hockey was a violent game.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see a bunch of guys fight and beat each other up on the ice.  However, to my surprise, it was entertaining and was exciting watching the guys get into tiffs.

Also impressive are the skating skills of the players!  I was shocked at how quickly they were able to fall on the ice and get back up in what seemed like one coordinated/graceful motion.

Two activities at the ShoWare Center that added to the fun were the blimp that dropped beef jerky and the chuck a puck game- where you can purchase rubber pucks and at the appropriate time, chuck them onto the ice to win prizes.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Attending a Thunderbirds game is an affordable sporting event that’s great for a date.  We went during the 2-for-Tuesday night.  This means tickets are priced 2-for-1 and they have specials where $2 can get you a hot dog, popcorn, soft drink, or beer.

The marriage principle I took away from attending the game was thinking about time outs (the penalty box).  When we are having a verbal conflict with our significant other, a large amount of adrenaline and other hormones are released.  Instead of thinking rationally and clearly with the front of our brains, we begin to think with the back and go into a fight-or-flight response.  We say things we don’t mean and end up causing damage to our relationships.  John Gottman discovered that with as little as a 10% heart rate increase (from a person’s resting heart rate) a person begins to switch to fight-or-flight mode and should take some time to calm down before returning to the discussion.

http://www.seattlethunderbirds.com/